Distress tolerance is the capacity to get through a genuinely hard moment, like a wave of panic or grief, without making things worse in the process.
It isn’t about fixing the problem or feeling better right away. It’s about getting through the worst of it safely, so the rest can be dealt with once it passes.
Distress tolerance is the experience of saying: “I can’t fix this right now, but I can get through the next few minutes.”
Think of it like pulling over in a downpour instead of driving blind. You’re not stopping the rain. You’re refusing to make a bad situation worse.
Distress Tolerance vs. Emotional Regulation
Distress tolerance and emotional regulation are related but different. Distress tolerance is about getting through an intense feeling as it’s happening, without making it worse. Emotional regulation is broader: feeling an emotion and choosing how to respond to it over time. Distress tolerance can be thought of as one piece of that larger skill, used specifically for the hardest moments.
What Distress Tolerance Skills Involve
Distress tolerance comes from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan. It includes skills such as changing the body’s state, paced breathing, and grounding through the senses. A therapist can help someone learn which of these fits them, and when to use it, since not every skill suits every person or every moment.
What It Isn’t
Tolerating distress doesn’t mean tolerating a bad situation, like an unsafe relationship or unfair treatment. It’s also different from suppression, which pushes a feeling away rather than getting through it.
Why People Learn It
People often come to distress tolerance skills through therapy, or in the middle of a moment that feels like too much to think clearly through. Learning it ahead of time, rather than only reaching for it in a crisis, tends to make it easier to use when it’s actually needed.
Distress Tolerance in Therapy
A therapist may help someone build a small set of distress tolerance skills suited to them, and explore what tends to bring on the moments where those skills are needed.
This entry is for general education, to make distress tolerance easier to understand. It reflects one way of looking at it, not the whole picture. It isn’t a diagnosis or a replacement for professional help, and it can’t tell you what’s going on for you specifically. A therapist can help build a set of distress tolerance skills that actually fit you, rather than leaving you to figure it out alone.
If you’re in a crisis right now, you can call or text 9-8-8 (Suicide Crisis Helpline) any time, or call 911 in an emergency.
